its not stalking. its research.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
