Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
