Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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