She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize