why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize