bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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