my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
