i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
