I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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