Kareoke will never be a sober sport
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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