I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
