I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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