Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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