giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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