I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
