Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
