Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
