Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
