Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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