i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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