You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
