whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
