if you like me you must not know who I am
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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