also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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