Will you blow on my dice?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I am naked and annoyed.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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