playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
