You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
