i may or may not be watching the land before time
home. puking in laundry basket.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
