Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
