Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize