yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
