she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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