I think im going to throw up on grandma
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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