If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
