How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
