just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
