tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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