I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
