My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
