; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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