I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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