this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
it glows. i had to have it.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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