At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize