Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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