he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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