It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
