And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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