Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
