if you like me you must not know who I am
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
