You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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