he shaved USA in his pubs
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize