break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize