Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
