How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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