My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
