I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
