Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
