This girl is more easily done than said...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
