Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
